I don’t know if you are tired of reading posts about my getting in shape, but I’m getting tired of writing them. This will be my last one – at least for a very long while. I don’t want to focus on it anymore since it’s a new habit. It’s not like I focus on brushing my teeth every day even though I DO brush my teeth every day. Brushing my teeth and wellness are both just a part of my morning routine now.

It’s been about a month since I started with the updates. I’ve done well at keeping up what I’ve started. Rodney Yee and I are well on our way to a beautiful relationship. I feel taller and more in shape than I’ve been in a long time. I contribute most of that success to the yoga that I’ve been doing every morning. My posture is better and I just generally feel better when it comes to muscle tone.

This week I’ve done more walking outside since it’s been pretty in the mornings. I enjoy the stepping and it seems to break the exercise up, but there’s something to be said for getting it all done at once and having it off my mind for the rest of the day. So, I think, as long as it’s pretty outside, I will continue to walk the neighborhood while Roxie continues to pee all over the neighborhood. How DO dogs pee on demand like that? And why does my tiny dog think marking her territory all over the neighborhood is going to intimidate some HUGE dog that lives down the block? This morning we passed a man with a HUGE dog on a leash. The HUGE dog didn’t even look our way. But Roxie proceeded to bark and raise the hair on her back like she was going to have HUGO for lunch. Now, if I were little Roxie, I would have tried to get as small as possible and fly under the radar instead of ticking HUGO off. I think I need to teach Roxie a thing or two about manners or maybe she needs to teach me about self-confidence. But, that’s another post.

They say it takes 21 or 28 days or something like that to start a habit. Hopefully, I’ve started a new lifestyle habit. I almost look forward to my yoga and walking each morning now. If it’s bad weather, I’ll just try walk on the treadmill. But, no excuses to skip the walks. I still take the two days off each week. This week that was the days I was sick in bed with this flu or whatever I had. I still have the residual coughing and hoarseness, but for the most part, I feel better than ever.

I think I’ve finally made this body and wellness thing a non-issue. Have I lost a lot of weight? No. Do I care? No. I’m making strides in the right direction. Do I have my eating and portion control under complete control? No. But, again, I’m headed in the right direction. I’m still ‘doing, observing, and correcting’ and if I continue that, I will eventually get them all under control. The trick is to get a little better each week. This body didn’t get in this shape overnight and I’m not going to get it to perfection overnight either. But, as long as I’m headed in the right direction, that’s all that really matters.

So, I’m considering the body image project a success. Now, I just have to maintain what I’ve started. I have to continue building these wellness habits and focus on living!

Now that I’ve made the wellness a non-issue, it’s time to start managing my time… I’ll leave that for another post too.

I haven’t given you an update lately. I hope you assumed that no news is good news and didn’t think I had given up

I haven’t posted because I’m really trying to make this just something that I do and not make it an issue.

I’ve continued to do the yoga 5 days each week. I am REALLY enjoying the yoga once I get started. I still dread it a bit until I get started, but the degree of dread is slowly going down. I do feel better when I’m done and I think it helps me feel better all day long. I’m trying to remind myself of that when I’m laying in bed dreading getting up because I know I have to face Rodney Yee again with those sometimes impossible poses he seems to throw at me before I’ve had my coffee. Actually, I’m falling in love with him and dreading him less and less

I’ve kept up with the stepping and stairs and trying to add a little extra movement and walking in my day whenever possible. I rarely ever take the elevator when I’m at my office in Nashville and I’m up to 4 minutes on the step-ups, 7 times a day when I’m at home. I figure that’s 28 minutes a day.

I’m taking 2 days each week off of both the yoga and the steps. I think my body needs a rest occasionally and it helps me when I’m really not in the mood by saying that if I do it today, I can take a day off later in the week. I try to always take off on Sunday and then I try to schedule my other day off for my busiest day of the week when I’m going to be running all over town to meetings, so that I’m not any more pressed for time than usual.

I really feel that all this is working. At least mentally. I think my clothes are feeling a little looser and generally I feel that I’m at least doing SOMETHING for my body. I’m doing better at waiting until I’m hungry, cutting down on the portions and stopping when I’m full. Marna’s emails have been invaluable in keeping my mind focused on what I’m supposed to be doing when it comes to my eating.

Yesterday, I bought a treadmill. I will write another post about the reasoning behind that. I’m still trying to decide if I’ll put a walk/run in my schedule or if I’ll keep doing the stepping. I could always do both! ha! Yeah right.

Now, for the bad news. Every since I started this, I’ve had a minor cough. It started with a sinus thing going on or allergies or something. And then it turned into a tickle in the back of my throat. I didn’t feel bad, just coughed and cleared my throat constantly. My family FINALLY talked me into going to the doctor last week.

I had to get on the scales for the first time in a very long time. I guessed my weight almost perfectly. I wasn’t happy with it, but I HAVE to think that it’s better than it was a month ago. Who knows? Who cares? I feel better, that’s what matters. And I know I’m headed in the right direction.

The doctor put me on antibiotics – said it was just sinus drainage and I should get better soon. Yesterday after a grueling battle with treadmill (I wasn’t working out, I was putting it together), I started feeling horrible. I felt like I had the flu – body aches, chills, cold symptoms, fever, etc. The sinus drainage and coughing got worse and produced a sore throat. I felt HORRIBLE!

This morning I got up expecting to feel absolutely miserable, but I feel good! I don’t feel 100% and my cough is worse, I have laryngitis and a sore throat, but I am not miserable! I don’t feel the flu symptoms anymore, just the same tickle in my throat, only worse. I sound like one of my teen boys did when their voices were changing, but that’s ok! I’m just glad I don’t feel worse. I know it HAS to be all these vitamins, exercise and antibiotics. I think my body is just getting rid of all the yukky toxins my body has probably had for a very long time. I know in a couple of days I’m going to feel better than ever!!

They say it’s always darkest before the dawn. I see the beginnings of a beautiful dawn I think I’m getting through the darkness and the habits are being formed for a more healthy lifestyle. My new habits will keep my body where it needs to be so that I can focus more on the fun stuff!

I’ve lost count of how many days or weeks it’s been since I started my quest to get in shape. That’s a good thing.

I’ve kept up with the yoga once or twice a day at least five days each week. And I’m up to 4 minutes of stepping at a time. I walk for 30 minutes around the neighborhood when I have time and when my tongue is not hanging out from running from one appointment to the next.

I’m taking the stairs when I can and I’m parking further away from places so that I have to walk further.

Yesterday I started taking a whole food multi-vitamin. I’m focusing on vibrant health and more energy. I’ve taken most of the thinking out of it… it’s just something I do.

It must be working because I think I had a brilliant idea today. Some of the folks I’ve shared it with think I’ve lost my mind. They may be right, but I think it’s brilliant. I think it was an inspired thought and now I’m going to take inspired action.

It’s definitely given me more energy. When you are passionate about something and excited about what the future holds for you, the energy seems to appear!

Or maybe it’s just the vitamins.

Stay tuned… I’ll be sharing my great idea soon!

I wrote about getting the emotions out of the equation when it comes to exercise and eating yesterday in my post about getting in shape. Since then, I’ve really been thinking about that concept this morning. I saw Thea’s comment on my post which made me analyze that thought even more. My journaling time this morning (which I make time for EVERY morning) was spent mostly on that one topic.

As a child I learned to stuff my emotions. How that behavior was learned is a post for another day. But, I got really good at hiding my feelings and even turning them off to an extent. It really wasn’t that hard for me so I think my nature may lean towards not having a whole lot of emotion anyway. Then again, who knows how strong those learned behaviors can get.

For the last 20 years or so, I’ve been learning how to feel those emotions again. Children are often the best teachers and I will admit that they have taught me a great deal about all emotions from love to fear to anger to frustration to joy and everything in between. There have been other major players in there as well that taught me some valuable lessons.

I’ve realized just how much of life I had missed by turning off my emotions. Yes, it made the pain much more bearable, but I missed out on SO much good stuff!! I believe that you can only feel the good emotions to the degree that you feel the bad emotions. By turning off the bad emotions, I’ve turned off the good emotions as well. I didn’t really experience the greater degree of love until I experienced an incredible degree of fear when my tiny baby developed breathing problems and almost died. It really wasn’t until I let him go and realized that he could die from anything at any time without my approval that I truly experienced the freedom of love as well as the knowledge that really ALL I have are the present and the memories I’m making in the present. It was a life changing experience that is also a post for another day

My point is that I’ve spent all this time trying to turn my emotions back on and then I catch myself saying take the emotion out of it. I had to give that some serious thought. Was that really what I meant to say? Do I really mean to take the emotion out of it? I need to explain what I mean a little clearer.

By saying ‘take the emotion out’, I most certainly do NOT mean to ignore your emotions about a subject whether it’s weight loss, starting a business, or anything else. It’s important to feel our emotions! I believe they are indicators that show me how far away I am from the mind and heart of God. When I’m feeling what I consider a bad or uncomfortable emotion, it’s because I’m looking or thinking of something differently from how God would look or think about that same thing. So, I most certainly appreciate those bad emotions because they help to set me back on track.

I think I feel bad about exercise because my thinking is screwed up! So, to me, when I say ‘get the emotion’ out of it, I’m really saying, ’start thinking about this in the correct way so that the emotion involved is a good emotion or is something that I just do without any emotion at all.’

I guess another way to put it is this: When I wallow in the bad emotion of hating exercise, it drains my energy! It takes a lot of energy to hate something. It takes a lot of energy to come up with a million reasons of how I can get out of my exercise today. It takes more mental energy to feel all that than it takes physical energy to just go ahead and DO IT! So, ‘taking the emotion out’ means to do it without thinking about it at all – or do it with the right attitude and thinking that God would place on it.

If God made my body to need exercise, then I guarantee you that He does not HATE exercise. And when I HATE exercise I feel bad, because my thinking is NOT matching up with God’s thinking on the subject. I either have to just do it and not think about it (which keeps the emotions away) or I have to do it and think about it in the right way (which will make me experience good emotions).

If you’ve had kids I’m going to bet that there were many days when you had to argue with them about why they should brush their teeth or get their bath. I’m also willing to bet that your parents had that same argument with you when you were younger. But, as we grow older, we do it without even thinking or we enjoy it because we see the benefits. No one has to tell me to get a shower any more. I WANT to do it. Not because I particularly enjoy it every time I do it, but because I either want to do it or I just don’t think about it. It’s just something that I do. I don’t even evaluate how well I did it like I used to do with my kids!

“Did you wash behind your ears?”

Why did I ask that? Because I knew that the chances were pretty good that they didn’t. Was it because they FORGOT to do it?? NO. It was because that was their last bit of defiance! Once the last bit of defiance was out of the way, the emotions were gone. It became a non-issue.

So, in a way, I AM saying that some things aren’t worth good or bad emotions. They are just there. They are just something we do. And we just do them without thinking. They take little mental energy that way. Our metal energy is saved for the things that REALLY matter such as our passions, our relationships, and our new and exciting experiences.

I am trying to look at where I am spending my mental energy. Then I look at where I WANT to spend my mental energy. If these two places aren’t the same, then the one that is taking my mental energy probably needs to become a non-issue. This is what I meant about my body image. I don’t want to waste my mental energy on my body. I want a healthy, well body, but I don’t want to spend all my mental energy there. I want to spend my mental energy on my family and friends and my passions. Therefore, taking care of my body must become a non-issue just like taking my shower. And, yes, I DID wash behind my ears without even thinking about it.

Our cat, Cortana, has now joined Roxie to check out the endless rain. No walking outside again today.

No big deal. I walked inside with the walking DVD. I did the Yoga and the stairs at work yesterday. I even parked as far away from my office as possible so I would get that much more walking in.

If you’ve been reading the comments, you’ll see where my good friend, Thea, told me how she’s been getting in shape by stepping every hour on the hour for 3-5 minutes. I like that idea! I’m going to start trying that!

By the way, you all should check out Thea’s site, I LOVE reading all the stuff on her site! I also enjoy watching the movies and reading the books that she suggests. She has inspired and motivated me to great things in the past year or so! I can’t wait to get her email every day. Her new book, Time For My Life: 365 Stepping Stones, is AMAZING! I am thankful that she is my friend.

This morning I was a little blah. I don’t like feeling blah, but I always know that when I’m blah, then something isn’t right so I try to make myself figure out what it is before I do anything else. No sense being blah when I can feel fantastic.

I think I figured it out and I’ll try to put it into words. I just don’t like making such a big deal about this body image thing. It’s not that I don’t want to do it or that I’m rethinking the priority I’ve placed on it. It’s just that I think it’s going to remain an issue until I make it a non-issue.

I started thinking about other things that I’ve overcome in my life. There was a time when I was stressing out about my house and keeping it clean. I remember Joyce Myers saying that as long as I couldn’t get my housework under control, I could never move on to bigger and better things. That made me mad when she said it because I struggled with keeping my house clean every single day. I couldn’t imagine it NOT being a struggle or stress-producer. And I certainly couldn’t see any way to get it under control.

I tried Flylady and every form of self-discipline that I could read about. Nothing seemed to work. No matter how hard I tried, I just could not learn to like cleaning house or cooking. Then a couple of years ago, I decided that it was not going to be an issue any more. I was going to start paying someone to get it done. I wasn’t sure I could afford it at the time, but I was going to try.

That year, for my birthday, my Mom gave me the best present I’ve ever received. She gave me the gift of cleaning my house for me every other week. Once it became a non-issue for me I was amazed at how much more energy and time I had. It wasn’t just the time and energy that it was taking me to actually clean the house, but the time and energy it took for me to stress out about the house not being clean. I saved all the time I had spent dreading cleaning the house. I really didn’t realize how much it was really draining me until it wasn’t an issue anymore.

The same thing happened on my job. There was someone that was making things hard for me at work. It wasn’t until I took action and decided that I had to change some things that I did have control over, that it started to become a non-issue. I was amazed at how much time and energy I had been wasting because it had been SUCH an issue for me. The funny thing was that the action I took, had nothing to do with the final solution to the whole problem. The action I took seemed to have been only a catalyst to get the ball rolling and the circumstances changed on their own, seemingly unrelated to my actions. When I made it become a non-issue, the situation changed.

I think I have to make my weight and body image a non-issue. How do I do that? I don’t think ignoring the problem is the answer. I need to take action, even if it’s to get my mind moving in the right direction. I think, for me, it’s more about taking the emotion out of it. I have to get it set in my mind that my lifestyle must change so that this is a non-issue. I am now an active person. I MUST be. I have to trust the process. I have to build these things into my day and not stress about them. Just accept that these are things I must do like brush my teeth or go to the bathroom. It’s just something that has to be done. I must quit making a big deal about it and just do it without even thinking.

If my Mom were to quit cleaning my house (and I’ve begged her to stop) I would hire someone to do it. It’s worth most any amount of money to not have that worry or stress in my life. The time I save by not having to worry about my house allows me to make even more money with my job – it saves me countless hours. When things get bad on the job, I now know that I must remedy the situation as soon as possible to keep from draining my energy and my time. It’s not worth it. Even finding another job would be better than the stress that a bad situation causes. I believe that stress is the root of all sickness.

So, maybe the stress from my body image being such an issue is the root of all the extra weight to begin with? Maybe when I make the weight and body image a non-issue, my body will respond positively. It’s certainly worth a try. Now my work is to make this a non-issue so that I can move on to the bigger and better things. I do SO want that.

This doesn’t mean the updates will stop. It just means that they won’t be such a big deal. And that I can move on to bigger and better things.

I’m looking forward to that. I’m sure you are too