Today, I feel like crap! Remind me why I’m doing this???

Ok, I think most of my problem is allergies or sinus from all the rain or something like that, but it certainly makes the exercise and diet look very UNinteresting. My head hurts. I’m tired. I just want to stay in bed. But, the good news is that my muscles aren’t so sore today. I did yoga morning and night and I walked to the Walk Away the Pounds DVD yesterday and I was feeling pretty good when I went to bed last night. But, this morning, I feel like crap!

I did get up and do the AM Yoga this morning and I admit, I felt better after doing it. It really does help to calm my mind and stretch when I first get up in the mornings.

Actually, I don’t do it when I first get up. I get a massage first. I have a massage chair like you see at the mall and that’s my first stop after the bathroom each morning. I wonder what I did before my massage chair? It certainly helps me wake up in the mornings and relax at night. Well worth the money. I want to get one of these next

See? That’s why I’m fat. I enjoy sitting and doing those kinds of things more than I enjoy getting up and moving around. But, I’ve decided that I can enjoy them both. The relaxing will be SO much better when my body is physically tired from the activity.

I have to remind myself that life is really about balance. I’ve learned that I can’t have the mountains without the valleys. I don’t appreciate the light without the dark. And I don’t appreciate the sun without the rain. The good is so much better after I’ve experienced the bad. And usually, to the degree that I’ve experienced the valley, the dark, the bad is the degree to which I experience the mountain, the light and the good.

So better days are coming. Of that, I am sure. I do know that this will not be easy and it will probably get harder before it gets to be fun or exciting or rewarding. This feeling I’m having today and probably tomorrow and the next day are the reasons that so many people give up on getting in shape. It’s certainly the reason I’ve given up on exercise and diet in the past. This part is no fun! But, it will be worth it. I’m focusing on the rewards of tomorrow instead of the pain of today.

Even though I don’t feel so great physically, I’m still excited about the challenge. My determination is even greater than before. I keep thinking what a waste it would be if I experienced this pain and then gave up before I reached the goal! What if tomorrow is the day that I start to see results? What if I give up just a few minutes too soon?

I don’t do scales. I gave them up a long time ago. I really don’t care how much I weigh. And I began to realize that generally the scales only made me feel worse. I am not a number. And that number that judges me when I get on the scale doesn’t define who I am. What’s important is how I feel. I can tell by the size and feel of my clothes whether I’m moving in the right direction toward my goals and dreams when it comes to my body. I finally figured out that it’s not my jeans that are shrinking

Today Marna reminded me to only eat when I’m hungry. I knew that! She did a great job motivating me to focus on that again. I am so glad that I signed up for her program. It’s something that I’ve planned to do and wanted to do for a long time, but I wasn’t ready to focus that hard on my body. I had better things to do… or so I thought.

Focusing on my body is not fun for me. I can think of a million other things that I would rather be doing. Making my blog about health and fitness was not in my grand scheme of things. But, when I started trying to figure out where I should start to help others be successful in their business, I had to face the facts. The thing that has helped me make changes in my life in the past has been to gain more self-confidence and more self-control by taking control of my body through focusing on wellness.

I heard something the other day that’s really stuck with me. If I get cold, I don’t focus on the cool air. I don’t focus on how to make the cold air stop or worry about how it got cold in the first place. I focus on the heat. I do whatever needs to be done to get warmer air flowing around me again.

When I get sick or fat or unhealthy, I shouldn’t focus on that illness or thing that is going wrong in my life. I shouldn’t look for the reasons it’s there or fight it and judge it and begrudge it. I should focus on wellness and how to get that flowing in my life again. I should focus on what I want – not what I don’t want.

What I really want is to feel good. Even though the thought of exercise or action does not make me feel good, the results of exercise DO make me feel good. I’m learning to look at the bigger picture and to focus on long-term results as opposed to short-term actions.

I also know that once I turn that corner to feeling better about myself, that will build momentum. Just feeling better will give me more energy and excitement which automatically cause me to be more active and energetic. Once I get that energy flowing through me again, good things start to happen. The good things give me even more energy and excitement. Those are the things I want in my life.

Today I can focus on the pain I have and still do the exercises or I can focus on the future I know I have and do the exercises. Either way, I’ll do the exercises. But, which way will cause the exercises to bring me the most benefit? I CHOOSE to focus on the bright future ahead and the more fit body I will have because I KNOW focusing on that will give me much more energy and enthusiasm while I exercise.

It really is all a matter of the mind. Or mind over matter. Or mind over body.

Ok, now I’m going to take this slim, healthy body to the showers and get ready for the rest of my day. I’m feeling stronger, taller, and more fit already.

What’s changed since the beginning of this post? Just my attitude. I have talked myself into having a GREAT day. Hopefully, I’ve helped your day a little too

Another Rainy morning. We have had more than our fair share of rain lately. As you can see, Roxie is upset that we don’t get to go for our walk. She likes to jump on my desk to watch out the window. Today, like me, she can only see it rain. But, you will have to admit, it’s still a pretty good view

I was really sore yesterday. I was amazed that just walking and Yoga could make me that sore! I guess that’s a good thing. I felt as if it must be working At least until I got dressed to go to my office in Nashville. Then I felt fatter than ever. I started to get a little depressed. It just doesn’t seem to work as quickly as I would like for it to work. I also know and believe that as long as I feel fat, I will not get the momentum and energy headed in the right direction. I will get whatever I focus on, so if I focus on what I don’t want, that’s exactly what I will get.

As the day went on, I tried to focus on what it would feel like to be slimmer. I walked at lunch and I took the stairs back to my office – all seven floors! I thought as I headed up that I could get off on another floor if I got tired and then take the elevator the rest of the way up. So around floor five, I started to get tired and was going to take the elevator from there. But, there was a sign on the door that said something like “under surveillance – do not enter unless emergency”. Uggghh! I slowly made my way to the sixth floor. Again, the SAME sign! I drug myself to the seventh floor. I made it but I thought I would pass out. It wasn’t that my legs were burning so much (even though they were), but that I could not seem to catch my breath! I waited at the door until I didn’t seem like I would scare someone with all my heavy breathing and then went back to my office.

By the time I got home from work last night, I was really beginning to feel tired. I went for another walk when I got home even though my bladder was hurting and I felt so tired. I was hoping that it would give me more energy, but it didn’t. I started to quit a couple of times because of the bladder pain, but I didn’t. I was really proud of myself for sticking with it, but I felt that old familiar frustration with the pain and thoughts of giving up were jumping around in my head.

I skipped the yoga last night. I was just too tired – emotionally, mentally, and physically. I found it hard to even sit in my chair and work on the few client sites that I needed to work on. I did accomplish a little but headed to bed early.

This morning, I still feel a bit tired. The rain doesn’t help. I’m also still sore. I wasn’t going to do the yoga this morning, but decided to watch the new routine instead. Then, as I watched, I decided to go ahead and try it. I felt much better after doing the routine. One thing I really like about yoga is that you only push it as much as you feel comfortable pushing it. I don’t feel bad for not being able to do the poses as deep as the yoga instructor, and I still get a great workout. It seems strange to me that just stretching can give you such a great workout but I can definitely feel it afterwards. Better yet, is the relaxation that I always feel when I’m done.

I’m going to try to never let myself skip two sessions in a row. Each time I skip a session, it gets easier to skip the next and before I know it, I’m out of practice again. I’m determined to stick with it.

Marna’s email this morning helped me to see the reasons that I often overeat. I’m glad that I have that program to help me with my thinking to compliment the yoga and walking that I’m doing. I think the ‘thinking’ work is really the most important part.

I’m hoping to do the walking DVD for the rest of my lunch hour today. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Rain, rain, go away!