Posts tagged: expectations

Mar 02 2010

What I’m Learning About Money

My thinking has changed considerably in the last couple of years about outsourcing and money in general. I used to find it very hard to pay someone to do things that I could do myself. As a matter of fact, I found it hard to spend money at all – even when it was something that I really needed. All my life I’ve been taught to be really tight with my money.

Christmas before last I bought a new house. Spending that much money was hard for me as it is with most people I’m sure. And then having to go buy washer and dryer, refrigerator, furniture etc. was even harder. It wasn’t because I didn’t have the money, I had more than enough. It was just hard to spend money. But, an event changed my life that Christmas and has since changed my whole way of thinking.

I was at a furniture store looking for furniture to go in my new home. My husband and I had just divorced and I was literally starting over – he got the house and everything in it, which was really fine with me, I was ready for a new start. But, that meant I had to buy all new furniture. Again, I had more than enough money for this – a result of the divorce settlement, but it was still hard to let it go. Finally, I decided on several items that the young salesman was trying so hard to sell me. Once I reluctantly signed all the papers and paid the young man, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, “THANK you SO much! Now my children will have Christmas presents.” He didn’t tell me this BEFORE the sale to try to get me to buy from him, but only after I had decided on my purchase.

At that point, it really hit me that MY purchases really were helping people and helping this economy in general. Not only were MY children going to be SO excited to be getting this new furniture for Christmas, but now this young man could provide presents for HIS children. His purchases would in turn help someone else have enough money to buy presents for their kids, and so on and so on…

Not long ago, I hired a young man to help me part-time with websites. I wasn’t paying him a lot since he was only working part time. It was totally worth the money to me because I was so far behind on the websites. One night he came online and thanked me for allowing him to work for me part time. He told me that because of the extra money I was paying him, he was finally able to do some basic things that I never think about doing without. Again, a light bulb went off in my head – when I use the money that I have to hire out work that I need done, I am truly helping someone else. If I had offered to give this young man the money to take his wife out or to get new clothes, he would not have taken it. He wasn’t looking for a hand out. Now, I can’t wait to hire people. Which means I must charge people for the services I provide so that I can afford to hire more people.

I must take in money so that I can let it flow through me. And the more I take in, the more that can flow through me. I used to feel guilty about charging for my services. But, now I realize that I am providing quality service to my clients and customers – just like the young man provides me with quality service and help. I WANT to pay him. My clients WANT to pay me because I am providing HELP that they NEED. Hiring other people has really changed my whole perspective about money and looking at things from the other side.

Another thing that I realized the last year or so is how my SPENDING really affects this economy. The economy is bad because people don’t have money to spend. They don’t have money to spend because everyone is afraid to spend. There was a day a couple of years ago when I was at work and someone came running in the office saying, “If you are going to get gas, you better go get it! The gas stations are running out of gas!” This was when the gas prices were so incredibly high a year and a half ago or so. On my way home that day, I noticed several gas stations were truly out of gas and the gas stations that did have gas, had LONG lines of cars waiting to get gas. Some of those people in line were even fighting because they were afraid they wouldn’t get gas.

When I got home and watched the news, I realized that Nashville was the ONLY city in the nation that had run out of gas. Why? Because somehow that rumor got started and since everyone ran out to get gas, they made that rumor come true. If people had just ignored the rumor and not run out to get gas, the rumor would have been false.

I have a feeling that our economy is a lot like the gas rumor. Yes, we are in a bad economy, but mostly because people BELIEVE that we are in a bad economy. We’ve made the rumor come true. The people that have money are afraid to spend it because they believe we are in a bad economy. That keeps the money away from the people that need the money. Businesses that need to hire people are afraid to hire them because they believe that we are in a bad economy and they believe that people won’t spend money for their services. People aren’t spending money for the businesses services because they don’t have money to spend because businesses aren’t hiring. It’s a vicious cycle.

Many of the people I’ve hired to do websites lately tell me something like this: “I would work more but I can’t afford internet service right now and I have to work at a coffee shop when it’s open and I don’t have gas money to drive to the coffee shop.” Or, “I would help you with that design but I don’t have the software I need to do it on my computer.” I remember that I used to think the same way. What they don’t realize is that if they spent the money to get internet service or the gas or the software, they would make way more than enough to pay for the gas or internet service or software and still have more than enough left over. Not only that, but then the coffee shop and the internet service or software company can afford to stay open and continue passing the money through the economic system. I think of that often when I need new software or to hire someone that could potentially make me way more money than the cost of the software or the new hire.

I think if we all started talking about how great our economy is doing and started spending the money we have, then the economy would get better. I am realizing that the more money I spend, the more money I seem to make. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying to go out and spend just for the sake of spending, but spending when I need to spend and when I have it to spend instead of making myself do without just because I might need it some day or because we are in a bad economy. I trust that God will provide it when I need it.

I am learning to treat money like air. I don’t go around holding my breath so that I won’t use up unnecessary air. And I don’t go around breathing in the air as fast as I can because there is so much available to me. I don’t tell my children to be careful and save up the air for a rainy day. We all use the air as it’s needed – no more and no less. We use it without even thinking about it. Our lives don’t revolve around the air we breathe – actually, our lives DO revolve around the air we breathe, but we don’t plan our days and our lives around the air that we are breathing. We trust that it will always be there in the perfect amount that we need.

I think money should be the same way. Many of us say that we believe God will provide but then we rarely ACT like we believe that God will provide. We think we have to work hard to make that happen. I used to believe that I shouldn’t care about money and that I shouldn’t be focused on making more money because that took it away from someone else. I wanted to believe that money wasn’t important and I shouldn’t be focused so much on money. I shouldn’t want to make a million dollars. But, then I would catch myself spending MORE time and energy worrying about money because I didn’t have any! It caused me more stress and more grief and more arguments than anything else in my life.

If I treated money like I treat air, then the stress and grief and arguments would be gone. I have learned so much about my beliefs about money and how those beliefs were ingrained in my head lately. It has truly changed my life. I now realize that by charging others for my services, I am allowing them the opportunity to spend money which brings them more money. It’s called ‘currency’. I like to think of it as a water current. It has to flow THROUGH me. I can’t expect more to come to me if I’m damming it up on one end and not letting any out.

I used to keep my beliefs about money all to myself so I could avoid the hard looks from others or so I wouldn’t have to hear their disapproval. But, I’m finding that to truly be myself I can’t keep holding back my true thoughts and beliefs. It seems the older I get, the less I worry about what others think. :) And my main goal is to be happy. I won’t be happy unless I am the complete person that God made me to be. I won’t be happy unless I stay in touch with Jesus who lives inside of me. He made me the way I am and I’ve spent way too much of my life trying to be something I’m not so that others would like me more or not think bad of me. I’m learning to trust that still small voice instead of many of the louder voices I hear externally :)

I’m not totally ‘there’ yet, but I’m progressing :)

Anybody else want to make more money?
I’m offering a free webinar to learn HTML (the language used to build websites). You can read all about it and sign up for the free webinar here: http://cullen-web-services.com

Jan 03 2010

Happy New Year!!

I hope you are all enjoying 2010!

It’s going to be hard to top 2009 for me. I had a banner year! But, somehow, I KNOW that 2010 is going to be my best year ever! I hope you KNOW the same :)

I spent the last week on vacation. Of course, vacation for me just means I’m a little more selective about which emails and phone calls I answer :) I have decided to take off the week between Christmas and New Year’s every year. I love to spend the time reflecting on the year that’s past and then setting goals (NOT resolutions) for the coming year.

I probably do overkill compared to most people, but it certainly helps me to see how much I’ve grown in all areas of my life and it helps me to shoot for even bigger goals in the coming year. I have some pretty big goals for this coming year, but I believe in stretching myself to almost impossible goals. That way, even if I miss the goal, I still get much further than I would if I had set a puny, easy to reach goal.

After I’ve set my goals, I like to break the goals down into 12 monthly goals so that the huge goals don’t seem so overwhelming. I print out calendars for each month with my monthly goals listed so that I know what I’m shooting for. It really seems to help when I have my daily quiet time to focus on the goals that I have set for the month and for the year.

Last year I started a new habit which has really helped as well. On January 1, 2009 I sat down and wrote a note to myself for the first day of each month of the year. I reminded myself of my goals and what was important to me to focus on for the month. I encouraged myself to be the best that I can be. I can’t tell you how exciting it was to read those notes every month. I was amazed at the insight I had at the first of the year and how well I had exceeded my expectations for the year.

I did the same again this year. I sat down Friday and wrote myself 12 notes to be read on the first of each month. I definitely had writer’s cramp by the end of the day but it will be worth it when I read those notes each month and remember the enthusiasm and expectations that I have for making this my best year ever.

This year I’ve also started another habit. I know it’s going to take some effort, but I’m committed to sticking with it because my most important goal this year is to be joyful and happy each and every day. I should either be doing the things I love to do or working towards doing the things I love to do. I know that no matter what comes my way, I can find SOMETHING to be happy about.

So, I came up with a list of 20 questions that I am committed to answering each and every day. These questions are designed to help me stay focused on my goals and to get me feeling better by the time I’ve finished answering the questions. So, no matter how I’m feeling that morning, by the time I answer all the questions, I should be refocused and reminded of the important things in my life. I should be at least a little happier and more relieved about whatever may have been bothering me when I got out of bed.

This was my third day with this new habit and so far it has exceeded my expectations. I am SO excited about this coming year. Hopefully, these questions will keep this excitement alive throughout this whole year.

As I write this, I realize that it really all hinges on expectations. We usually live up to the expectations put on us whether they are put on us by ourselves or someone else. I’m beginning to see that the expectations I put on myself are so much more important than those put on us by others.

I’m putting high expectations on 2010. I’m expecting big things for myself and of myself. Those expectations are already drawing passion and excitement from me. I can not fail. But, for the sake of argument, let’s just suppose that I could fail. If I fail, I’ll fail after a year of passion and excitement. I’ll fail after being a little happier throughout each day than I was when I got out of bed. Can that even be considered a failure?

Make 2010 YOUR best year ever! Expect GREAT and Wonderful things. You really can NOT fail! And WHO deserves it more than YOU?

Oct 22 2009

Expect the Unexpected

Just when I think I’ve got everything under control and I know exactly what to expect next, everything seems to get turned upside down. People do what you least expect them to do when you least expect them to do it. They do stupid things and even though they may apologize and try to make things right, it’s sometimes just not enough.

Forgiveness is always necessary, but forgiveness does not take away the consequences. Once you’ve done something you just can’t take it back. It’s like trying to put toothpaste back in the tube or unscramble a scrambled egg. It’s just too late.

This is why it’s so important to think before we act or speak. This is why we need to learn self-control and learn to act instead of re-act. Our actions affect many people – even many we don’t know we are affecting.

I know that everything will be ok. As a matter of fact, good things will result. These good things are often hard to see at first, but I’m learning that sometimes the things that appear to be bad are really the things that turn out to be good. So, maybe those people that act before they think and say things that I think they shouldn’t say, are really doing what really needs to be done.

Sometimes those things that turn my world upside down are needed to wake me up and get me out of my comfort zone.

It’s all about about how I look at things. And I’m learning to look for the opportunities surrounding each challenge.

I’m finding that what I look for always seems to appear. So, I’d rather be looking for the good things instead of the bad. :)

Always expect the unexpected. Don’t get comfortable.

Look for the good. :)

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