Learning to Dream Again

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Did you figure out what your driving force is yet?  If not, I encourage you to go back and read about my driving force.  Then spend as much time as it takes to figure out what your driving force is.  Figure out what your values are and what you truly seek.

I'm going to guess that when you were a child, you had a lot of big dreams.

Most of us do.  We want to be astronauts, or doctors, or scientists, or the President.

But, as we grow up, we lose sight of those dreams.  We give up on them because society tells us we aren't old enough, we aren't good enough , or our dreams are too big.

As we face reality, and adulthood, things seem to be tougher than they were when we were young.  Reality hits us and our dreams get left behind.

Mine did.

When I was young I had some outrageous dreams.  And I let them go.

I'm glad I did because those dreams are not the same dreams I have today.

I don't regret letting THOSE dreams go, but I do regret letting the act of dreaming go.

I forgot how to dream.  I was too much of a realist.  I looked more at reality than I looked at my dreams.

If you are unhappy with your current conditions, or with anything in your current situation, you can do something about it.  I am a true believer that we create our own reality.

Yes, there are some things going on around us that are beyond our control, but there's always something we can do, even if it's just to accept it and move on.

I believe that when we learn to dream again, things begin to move in the right direction.  Things can't happen if we don't give them our attention.  The things that happen in our life most always happen, or continue to happen, because we've given them our attention.

Why not give our attention to the things we really want to happen?

When my first child, Matthew, was born, my life became incredibly uncomfortable.

He was sick and I wanted so bad to stay home with him.  But, my current financial situation would not allow me to do that.  It seemed like a dream that I could never reach. There was too much debt.  Too many bills.  And everyone had to work, didn't they?

Who was I to think that I was better than anyone else?  Why should I stay at home when everyone else, especially my husband, was having to go off to work?

Staying home seemed lazy.  Or unproductive.  Or like too much fun.  And if it's fun, then there must be something wrong with that idea.

I'm not sure how it got stuck in my head that having fun was wrong.  Maybe it had something to do with the religious beliefs I was taught as a child.  It seemed that anything that was fun was also a sin.

Or maybe it was something I saw in my parents.  Or in someone else.  At any rate, it's something that was apparently engrained deep.  I still deal with it.

When I do something fun, I feel guilty. I feel like I shouldn't be having fun if others aren't.  Especially those close to me.

What I'm learning is that by depriving myself of fun, I'm not helping anyone else.  Not my wife, not my kids, not anyone.  They are happier and they have more fun when I am.

I desperately wanted to stay home with Matthew.  But, it seemed hopeless.

Instead of giving up and giving in, I saw a Tony Robbins infomercial and bought into his Personal Power program.

I started listening to Tony Robbins as I drove to work crying every morning, and somehow he made anything I wanted seem possible.

My first step was to figure out what I really wanted.  I had to start dreaming again.

Quitting my job seemed impossible.  So, if I couldn't quit, what if they let me work from home?  That would at least be a step in the right direction.

Keep in mind that this was in the early 90's before the internet was a thing.  Remote jobs were unheard of.

But, somehow, I dreamed about it enough, that I couldn't think of anything else. I HAD to ask my boss.  The worst that could happen was that he would say "No".

He didn't.  He said I could work from home a day or two each week.  I was shocked... and thrilled!

I enjoyed my time at home, but it still wasn't enough for me.  I wanted to stay home ALL the time without a job to worry about.

I talked to my husband and he agreed that if I could get all our debt paid off - except the house payment - he would be ok with me quitting my job to stay home.

I think he secretly didn't think I could do it, so his agreement was a pretty safe bet for him.

I loved my job and had worked hard to get it.  He knew that.  I don't think he believed I really wanted to stay home.  I think he thought I would give up.

To reach my bigger goal, I started taking Matthew to day care in the mornings that I worked from home so that I could go to the local park to dream.

I took my lawn chair and a notepad and just wrote down all my dreams.  I wrote down everything I wanted.  I even wrote down things that weren't even really practical yet, such as a mobile phone.

Remember, this was back when mobile phones were huge and included a heavy batter pack that was almost the size of a car battery.

As I think about that list now, it all goes back to my driving force - Freedom.

I found that notebook a couple of years ago and EVERYTHING in it was now a reality, or had been at some time in my life.

I wrote this before I'd heard about vision boards or the Law of Attraction or any of the stuff I now know.

All I knew was that I had a dream.  A big dream that seemed out of my reach.  But, I became more and more determined and I allowed myself to dream about it as much as possible.

I dreamed about it so much that it finally became a reality.  Within two years, I got the debt paid off (except for the house payment).

My last day of work in my office was the day my second child, Mason, was born.

They let me work a little while longer from home after my maternity leave, but it didn't take me long to finally quit the job I truly loved.  My dream was bigger.

I've been home since then, with the exception of a year and half after my divorce to get back on my feet as a sole provider for me and my children as a freelancer.

It all started with a dream.

Actually, it all started when I allowed myself to dream again.

When was the last time you allowed yourself to really dream?

What are your dreams?

I've found that many people won't start dreaming again until they are so uncomfortable with their current lives that they have no other choice but to either give up and give in, or to grab hold of a new dream.

I encourage you not to wait until you are so uncomfortable that it's harder to see a way out.

My advice: Start dreaming again NOW.

Don't wait and don't put it off.

You might be surprised at what happens next.

1 thought on “Learning to Dream Again”

  1. Pingback: What Do You REALLY Want? – Cindy Cullen

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